Are You a Stay at Home Mom 😱

How many times have you faced this question with a horrified expression from the person asking you this? Well! I have faced this question innumerable times. Sometimes people who ask have the expression of astonishment, while others give you a condescending look. Then there are people who come with a sympathetic approach. I have witnessed close friends telling me, ‘How can you stay at home? Oh! I feel sorry for your condition.You must be frustrated staying at home.’

These comments sometimes make me wonder, why are people either condescending or sympathetic towards a SAHM? Is it something wrong we are doing? Is being a SAHM a crime, a sin?

To be a SAHM is a decision a woman takes out of her own choice. She is a mother, she has given birth to a child… a nascent life is dependent on her 24/7. It’s the mother in a woman that makes her take the decision of staying at home and nurturing her child, herself.

In today’s capitalist society where money plays the most important part in our lives, a woman chooses not to join the rat race and opts to be the mother instead. Isn’t it in itself an achievement? She chose to be a mother who is there for her child whenever the cherub needs her.

Staying at home and taking care of your children is being looked down on nowadays.

‘You are educated, why don’t you step out to work? Keep a nanny or send the child to the daycare. It’s that easy these days. You don’t have to stop living to be a mother ‘ — said a friend. Yes, I can do that easily. Most of the women who are choosing to embrace motherhood are opting for this easy option. They are living their life. But who said I am not?

I felt alive every time my child looked adorably at me even without knowing who I am. I felt alive the times when my child tried touching my face with her tiny fingers. Times when she smiled gleefully for no reason- I felt alive.

To take her in my arms and nestle her, to feel her pee or poop on me as an infant made me feel I am living. That little being had no idea about what was going on or what she was doing. It is that innocence that enlivened my soul during my initial days of motherhood. It was during this time I felt like living… I felt like I should take good care of myself because that little being is totally dependent on me.

Moments like these made me decide to be a SAHM because I wanted to live each and every moment of my motherhood. It was no sacrifice or compromise I was making. I was financially sound to hire a nanny or enroll in a daycare. I chose the SAHM option instead.

It’s been eight years since and there has not been a moment when I felt frustrated or regretted my decision. Today the kid is independent, she is busy with studies and extra curricular activities yet I am a SAHM. I feel alive when I cook food for my family and not order from outside or eat food cooked by a maid. I feel alive when my child hugs and kisses me the moment she wakes up, she goes to school and upon return. Those good night stories and kisses before hitting the sack enlivens me to look forward to the next day.

There will come a time when my child will grow up and step out to live her life on her own. That is the time I don’t want to sit alone and regret that why didn’t I spend more time with my child? I want to sit by the window, sip a cup of my ginger masala tea and reminisce about these moments which are flying at the speed of a rocket.

I have not stopped living. I have started living a bit more as a SAHM. So next time someone pops up this question to anyone who is a SAHM and reading this article, I hope you have answers to give them. Much love to you proud women.

Happy living and Happy Motherhood

Midnight Musings

A deep slumber is disturbed by a quivering Maaaaaaa sound and you know she is dreaming. You gently touch, she quickly grabs you and takes shelter in you. You try to ask what is bothering her, she replies, 'I had a nightmare.' 

She hurriedly hugs you. You too bring her close to your bosom, trying to make her feel safe. You kiss her forehead, ruffle her hair trying to make her feel secure. You tell her that you are right there and she hugs you tightly. 

She dozes off to sleep again. 

Your sleep just jumped out of your eyes and escaped into unknown lands. You are left with the sound of the whirring fan and the intermittent zzzzz of the snoring husband. Somehow you manage to get the phone with the hand that's free (the other has turned itself into a pillow for the little one) and start typing. 

You remember your childhood when similar incidents occurred with you too and reaching out to Ma was the only solace. You smile and kiss your child once again. You feel grateful for being blessed with Ma and motherhood. 

Lekin bhaiya ab toh...

Saari raat hum 

Jaag jaag ke jee liye

Ek pal toh Hume

Neend aane do Ane do! 

Give me some sleep

Give me some relief 

Give me another chance

I wanna get some sleep 😴 

#motherhood #motherdaughtermoments #childhood #hindisongs #bollywood #humor #parenting #family

Why is Mother's Day so special?

The conversation between my six year old and me led to this post. In her sweet, simple way little Biryani expressed the real fact of what makes this day so special for us mothers.

Ma: Achha Biryani tell me what is so special about Mother's Day?

Biryani: Because it gave her (the mother) the child. 

Ma: So what?

Biryani: Because that's what made her ( the mother) the happiest person on Earth naa! 

Indeed, holding you in my shaky arms for the first time, touching you to see if you are for real were moments beyond words or adjectives could describe. Since then life has been tough... There have been times when I lost my cool, I screamt,i cried because motherhood doesn't come with prior experience and certification; it's to be felt and gradually experienced. I have had my moments of complete break down but it was you who brought back the power and strength in me.

 I know how much I wanted to be a mother in spite of those miscarriages that tormented both my body and soul. You didn't come into my life easily but you made every moment worth since your birth. 

I know I am not perfect mother and I don't strive to be one.I am a mother who is more humane and normal. I don't want to show you that life is perfect or your Ma is perfect. Through my imperfections I want you to learn the real facts of life, of dealing with your demons and crisis. You have given me the most happiest moments of my life Biryani... Thank you for choosing me as your mother ❤️ 

#happymothersday #mother #motherdaughter 

It is time to Heal

A moment ago I was almost in tears because of the heel pain that's bothering me for a while now. The miniscule task of dropping Biryani to the bus stop seems impossible due to the pain.  As we were walking down the road to drop Biryani she asked if we can go for a mother daughter walk in the evening. I replied with a no because I can barely walk. The helplessness of a mother of not being physically able to do the minimum for the child is indeed agonizing. 

The excruciating pain is intolerable. As i recline on my bed, in pain and agony after dropping the little one to school, i kind of break down.It's the helplessness that takes a toll more than the pain. Just then I look up the ceiling and find these magical hues on the ceiling. The little bit of light rays that could make way through the curtain has created a miraculous mix of colours to give a new meaning to the ceiling. The room looks enthralling by this vibrant sport of light and darkness. 

For me it is an experience of watching Aurora borealis in my room on a scorching April noon.  The picture clicked doesn't do justice to the beauty I experienced. 

The message i perceived from the phenomenon is, no matter how dark it is... Light will make it's way. It was a kind of note sent by the universe. Yes,i know It's science, but isn't that's the magic of science! It's metaphorically amazing at times. Teaching us life lessons in the simplest way. 

So! My dear Heel... It's time to Heal 😁

#motivation #parenting #motherhood #lifelessons #Arthritis #pain #light #positivevibes  #Momlife #momblogger #parenthood #parent #biryani 

It's storytelling time!!!

Children love to listen to stories of all kinds. They just don't seem to get tired and bored of stories. phew!
Though they are addicted to stories, they want variety, newness each time we narrate. Have you ever faced the difficulty? Well I face it often! This has lead me to make up stories which are fun, informative and interesting. This has given me a new avenue for rediscovering myself.
If you are doing something similar do connect with me. It will be exciting to know moms who go that extra mile in parenting,  find the hidden talent they have which they never got a chance to explore before.
Motherhood has been an exhilarating journey. It has also given me an identity of my own. Our children are great teachers! Unknowingly they teach us so much! They are like the goldsmiths who give shine to an otherwise course metal lying inside the earth's crust.
Stories are what we all like to hear. Make stories a part of your kids life too! Give them the power to imagine, to shine bright by the way you narrate it to them. It's super fun!

#parenting #motherhood #moms #children #stories #storytelling #childrenstories #kids 

Indian Comic books for children

Remember reading @amarchitrakatha books extensively as kids?  Somehow this generation of kids are not much into reading these kind of Indian comics based on our country's religion, legends, mythology and historical figures. 

The other day when we got an opportunity to visit a book store after ages, I saw Little Biryani picking up three of the books from the mentioned publisher. On asking she said, "Maa I have often heard you talking about tales from Amar Chitra Katha and so I thought of giving it a try." On returning home she finished all three books in a day as she loved the concept of the comic strips and the pictures which are used to narrate the stories. Isn't it a great feeling to see the kids liking something which is not only part of our growing up years, also something which  informs them of our brilliant culture and history in such simple yet elaborate manner! 

Do try buying #amarchitrakatha books for your little one next time. Do let us know about your experience ☺️

#books #bookrecoomendation #bibliophile #bookstagram #read #readingbooks #readingaddict #readersofinstagram #children #kidsofinstagram #kidsbooks #childrenbooks #history #legend #mythology #parent #motherdaughter #parenting #school #bookreading #author #authorsofinstagram #storybooks #storiesofindia

How do you deal with Grumpy Child in public?

So how do you deal with the grumpy kid in public? 

Do you chide them or you just ignore them. Do you leave it to them to handle or you run to them for help? 

Every child has his or her own way to act in public. Sometimes a gregarious kid can also turn grumpy and it is necessary that we give them the space. Chiding or rebuke is not a healthy way of dealing with the situation. So what can parents do? 

Remember Avoiding without knowing the reason does not help at all

Humour is something that can be used as a tool to lighten the mood of the child and get him or her to participate again

Reproaching in public should be avoided. Even if the child is behaving in the most unlikely manner. As parents we should keep that in mind. 

Distraction can be a way to deal with the situation. Children get distracted quite easily and can be used as a took to handle the situation in a lighter manner. 

You can not escape by neglecting your child in public. Make sure you connect with them in their way to make them understand. 

Ignorance is not a bliss when you handle a child especially in public. 

Talk ... The best way to deal and understand your child during such situation. 

Do follow my parenting channel on  youtube. The video link to this post is given below 👇 Please subscribe 

https://youtube.com/shorts/B84SbutgVqA?feature=share

#parenting #parent #mindfulparenting #parent #children #childpsychology #kids #kidsproblem #parentingproblems #motherhood #fatherhood #grumpykid #grumpy #follow #followforfollow #handlingkids 

Rest in peace my friend

I was in my twenties when AD saw you for the first time and fell in love with your style. He knew that you were meant to be with me so he got you home one evening. Since then you have been a part of my life traveling to various places along with me. Although we didn't get to see each other for a few years in between because of my Motapa (weight gain) post motherhood, yet we shared a relation beyond the physicality. You always motivated me to get back in shape so that we can get back to meeting and feeling each other once again. 

Now in my forties I have to let you go my friend because age took a toll on you as well. It's time for us to bid adieu to each other with a heavy heart. Thank you for being with me since 2007 and being a part of my journey pre covid and post covid. You have been beside me throughout my journey pre and post motherhood and seen my body undergo change like never before. Yet you held on to me like a true friend.

Every time I looked at you post motherhood it was a deep sense of belonging that made me feel  some day I should be able to get you back. When o wore you after many years it was the feeling of meeting a long lost friend. The emotion was overwhelming and I loved wearing you over and over again. You made me feel good about myself... My existence...my identity. You boosted confidence in me to face the world sprightly. 

Its been a great journey so far my little sexy dress but nothing is permanent so is ours. It's time to bid adieu to you.I will miss wearing you but let me tell you something... You could be non living but this living being really liked you and it's hard to part today. Thank you for giving innumerable memories to cherish upon. The compliments I received because of you, the amorous gaze of the husband whenever I wore you, every moment was special. Thanks to the husband for bringing you home that evening. My dress rest in peace. 

Memoirs of a Mother and Child caught in the midst of a pandemic - July 2020

Memoirs of the initial lockdown days - July 2020

Tonight as we went to sleep Biryani and I were suddenly overwhelmed by the current scenario. It was so much that we both ended up crying profusely. She was missing her dyon...my mother. Her dadai and mama. She missed being at her home in Kolkata. She missed eating her grandma's  cooked food, Playing with the two cuties Dhishum and Thalaiva. The little one whimpered and asked God why he was doing such a wrong thing to children. She went on wailing and asking, "When are we going to go to school or play in the park. We can't even step out of home." There was an angst in the way she tried expressing her feelings. She felt helpless and hopeless at the same time. This was for the first time that I saw her crying so much during the Pandemic. 

Guess this is just the beginning for them... the kids are losing it. They are losing patience, they are losing hope. Biryani said that she is taking care of the environment and doing eco friendly things then why is it that God is not listening to her prayers. She feared the fact that her father has to step out to get food and stuff because of which he might get affected by the virus. She missed the days when she and her father would go to school and office happily everyday. She would go down to play with friends. 

This year she won't be able to celebrate her birthday is something which I think triggered this incident. The little one must be feeling something within which she couldn't share with us all these days. But with her birthday approaching it's too much for her to handle and therefore the emotional explosion.

I didn't scold her or stop her from crying because I felt that crying would help her lighten herself. All that hidden anger and frustration over the months needed to be vented out. Her father reproached me for not stopping her; I explained him that the child needs to speak... To express her innermost fears and grief. That is the only way out during this period when life seems to go topsy turvy for all and sundry. 

Motherhood is something I am passionate about and have been giving my best... Not because this is the only thing I have of my own... Also because I want my child to be brave, be intelligent and empathetic and most importantly a good human being. She should learn that there is no harm in being emotional and compassionate. No harm in crying and letting out the distress. That makes us human. There is no strength in being  insensitive, mechanical and cold. 

As I lie down alone in this room now all I pray is... May your prayers be heard and the human race gets back to normal before it's too late. I love you.

Photo courtesy: Google

How often do you love yourself

Life was crazy already when the latest trend of online classes added to the agony. Entire day gets consumed by the Zoom meetings, Google classrooms, presentations and the long list of online teaching materials. 

As a mother and a teacher she found it overwhelming at times. This is not what she wants or is used to. Being Adaptive towards her surrounding is what she learnt from childhood but this time she felt choked. She wanted to breathe. 

During an intermittent break she discovered a new way of dealing with her predicament. Self mockery, buffoonery in front of the camera made her relax. The camera acted as a catalyst in her overcoming the ennui, the oppression of online classes. 

One funny selfie shot gave her a way to deal with it. Various other selfies followed and classes became interesting and fun. Teaching was fun again and so was studying. Using technology to get over the weariness created by technology... Yes that's how she dealt with it. The students loved it too! 

 Moral of the story-  Never let the boredom, monotony climb up on your head and sit on your psyche. You are your own master. If you are willing enough, you are bound to find avenues to entertain yourself at the harshest of times. 

If online classes made life crazier, she decided to be the craziest. That was her way to deal with it and maintain sanity in the chaos she was into. 

She is me 🥰 

#shortstory

#camera #teacher #teaching #onlineclasses #musings #parenting #studies #learning #entertainment #inspiring #selfie #mockery #selflove #motivation 

Happy father's day or is it something more than that this year?

This year Father's Day is not what it used to be. There are fathers who are no more to celebrate this day with their kids. There are also fathers who are childless today and all they can do is grieve. The virus has changed the world forever.

I can count more than twenty such families whom I know personally where there have been deaths... where fathers lost their children and vice versa.
It's not easy... it's not easy to live with such a loss. There's nothing which can calm these souls today when they would be witnessing the world celebrate Father's Day. They would feel a bit more cornered and lonely today. It would not be difficult to find a father hiding in some corner and crying silently... because he cannot share his grief with anyone.

There are children who are missing their creator on this day reminiscing days when they were together. Happiness, joy, laughter seems to have left them filling their lives with a void... a void unexplained. A void so deep that no treasure in this world can fill that.

I personally know bereaved fathers who are not able to get into terms today. It's every day that they miss their little one but this day makes them a bit more vulnerable. It's hard and it's inconsolable. No words of wisdom can stop these fathers from missing their child a bit more today.


There are infants who lost their fathers forever and they will never get to know him. For the children their father will be someone on that frame in the wall of their house.
The kids of such men are always in fear... the fear of their father coming in contact with the virus and it's after effects. The fear of losing their Hero to the virus. It's a trauma they are facing on a daily basis.

This Father's Day is not like the other years... it's different in many aspects. Let us be beside such parents or such kids today. Let them know you care. A simple message or call can help them communicate... something that's essential yet we try to avoid. (Thanks to the world and it's ways )

Let this Father's Day be memorable in a way where you could make some father feel better or a fatherless child relive some moments of bygone days.


What about fathers who are frontline workers? They leave behind their family every day to step out in these testing times. Look around and you can see those doctors, nurses, soldiers, policemen, the cleaners, the essential goods carrier,the chemist,the phlebotomist who conducts the RTPCR test knowing the threat it has. All these people are nothing but angels for the common man. We are because of them.

Let us draw inspiration from these fighters and be the Ubuntu. Together we are. Humanity is all about being there for each other and helping in the development of the society.  Let this Father's Day be special in a way where we teach our children to value relationships, to spread love and care and be compassionate. Help them  learn to be there for someone.

This Father's Day is not only about being Happy... it's also about being Ubuntu.

#fathersday #happy #family #ubuntu #humanity #bereavedfather #orphan #childless #fatherless #parenting #momblog #iamwriting #momblogger #happyfathersday #counsel #compassionate #blog #writer #writeup