To Pee or not to Pee

I hate those midnight wala nature calls. Mostly when I am in deep slumber it'sthe bladder that kind of knocks from within making me feel like the cloud overburdened with rain, ready to burst and she'd it's weight.
I try to control and make up my mind... Aajke ami uthbo na hishu korte (tonight I am not getting up to pee) I turn this side,I turn that side trying to go back to sleep with the Hamletian dillema but the bladder seems impregnated with the waste water which needs immediate attention and I have no option but to run...run with those sleepy eyes to the toilet with reluctance  once again only to discover the eternal truth...

Tyag mei hi Sukh hain (Secret to happiness is  sacrifice) 😇😇😇

Then sleep like the infuriated lover leaves me to stay awake until the yellow fingers of the sun reaches me through the chinks of the curtains.
But tonight was  different and instead of fighting with my bladder I thanked it as I got to witness the magical Brishti (rain) and listen to its tunes sitting in my balcony while eating a banana and munching on some biscuits. My skin is not soaked but my soul is... Or is it both 😊

#rain #pluviovile #rainsong #morning #rainyday #rainraingoaway #kolkata #blogger #momblogger #soul #skin #humour #bladder #pee #hamlet #sun #brishti #monsoon #cloud #night #day #sunrise #day #music

Memoirs of a Mother and Child caught in the midst of a pandemic - July 2020

Memoirs of the initial lockdown days - July 2020

Tonight as we went to sleep Biryani and I were suddenly overwhelmed by the current scenario. It was so much that we both ended up crying profusely. She was missing her dyon...my mother. Her dadai and mama. She missed being at her home in Kolkata. She missed eating her grandma's  cooked food, Playing with the two cuties Dhishum and Thalaiva. The little one whimpered and asked God why he was doing such a wrong thing to children. She went on wailing and asking, "When are we going to go to school or play in the park. We can't even step out of home." There was an angst in the way she tried expressing her feelings. She felt helpless and hopeless at the same time. This was for the first time that I saw her crying so much during the Pandemic. 

Guess this is just the beginning for them... the kids are losing it. They are losing patience, they are losing hope. Biryani said that she is taking care of the environment and doing eco friendly things then why is it that God is not listening to her prayers. She feared the fact that her father has to step out to get food and stuff because of which he might get affected by the virus. She missed the days when she and her father would go to school and office happily everyday. She would go down to play with friends. 

This year she won't be able to celebrate her birthday is something which I think triggered this incident. The little one must be feeling something within which she couldn't share with us all these days. But with her birthday approaching it's too much for her to handle and therefore the emotional explosion.

I didn't scold her or stop her from crying because I felt that crying would help her lighten herself. All that hidden anger and frustration over the months needed to be vented out. Her father reproached me for not stopping her; I explained him that the child needs to speak... To express her innermost fears and grief. That is the only way out during this period when life seems to go topsy turvy for all and sundry. 

Motherhood is something I am passionate about and have been giving my best... Not because this is the only thing I have of my own... Also because I want my child to be brave, be intelligent and empathetic and most importantly a good human being. She should learn that there is no harm in being emotional and compassionate. No harm in crying and letting out the distress. That makes us human. There is no strength in being  insensitive, mechanical and cold. 

As I lie down alone in this room now all I pray is... May your prayers be heard and the human race gets back to normal before it's too late. I love you.

Photo courtesy: Google

How often do you love yourself

Life was crazy already when the latest trend of online classes added to the agony. Entire day gets consumed by the Zoom meetings, Google classrooms, presentations and the long list of online teaching materials. 

As a mother and a teacher she found it overwhelming at times. This is not what she wants or is used to. Being Adaptive towards her surrounding is what she learnt from childhood but this time she felt choked. She wanted to breathe. 

During an intermittent break she discovered a new way of dealing with her predicament. Self mockery, buffoonery in front of the camera made her relax. The camera acted as a catalyst in her overcoming the ennui, the oppression of online classes. 

One funny selfie shot gave her a way to deal with it. Various other selfies followed and classes became interesting and fun. Teaching was fun again and so was studying. Using technology to get over the weariness created by technology... Yes that's how she dealt with it. The students loved it too! 

 Moral of the story-  Never let the boredom, monotony climb up on your head and sit on your psyche. You are your own master. If you are willing enough, you are bound to find avenues to entertain yourself at the harshest of times. 

If online classes made life crazier, she decided to be the craziest. That was her way to deal with it and maintain sanity in the chaos she was into. 

She is me 🥰 

#shortstory

#camera #teacher #teaching #onlineclasses #musings #parenting #studies #learning #entertainment #inspiring #selfie #mockery #selflove #motivation