Are You a Stay at Home Mom 😱

How many times have you faced this question with a horrified expression from the person asking you this? Well! I have faced this question innumerable times. Sometimes people who ask have the expression of astonishment, while others give you a condescending look. Then there are people who come with a sympathetic approach. I have witnessed close friends telling me, ‘How can you stay at home? Oh! I feel sorry for your condition.You must be frustrated staying at home.’

These comments sometimes make me wonder, why are people either condescending or sympathetic towards a SAHM? Is it something wrong we are doing? Is being a SAHM a crime, a sin?

To be a SAHM is a decision a woman takes out of her own choice. She is a mother, she has given birth to a child… a nascent life is dependent on her 24/7. It’s the mother in a woman that makes her take the decision of staying at home and nurturing her child, herself.

In today’s capitalist society where money plays the most important part in our lives, a woman chooses not to join the rat race and opts to be the mother instead. Isn’t it in itself an achievement? She chose to be a mother who is there for her child whenever the cherub needs her.

Staying at home and taking care of your children is being looked down on nowadays.

‘You are educated, why don’t you step out to work? Keep a nanny or send the child to the daycare. It’s that easy these days. You don’t have to stop living to be a mother ‘ — said a friend. Yes, I can do that easily. Most of the women who are choosing to embrace motherhood are opting for this easy option. They are living their life. But who said I am not?

I felt alive every time my child looked adorably at me even without knowing who I am. I felt alive the times when my child tried touching my face with her tiny fingers. Times when she smiled gleefully for no reason- I felt alive.

To take her in my arms and nestle her, to feel her pee or poop on me as an infant made me feel I am living. That little being had no idea about what was going on or what she was doing. It is that innocence that enlivened my soul during my initial days of motherhood. It was during this time I felt like living… I felt like I should take good care of myself because that little being is totally dependent on me.

Moments like these made me decide to be a SAHM because I wanted to live each and every moment of my motherhood. It was no sacrifice or compromise I was making. I was financially sound to hire a nanny or enroll in a daycare. I chose the SAHM option instead.

It’s been eight years since and there has not been a moment when I felt frustrated or regretted my decision. Today the kid is independent, she is busy with studies and extra curricular activities yet I am a SAHM. I feel alive when I cook food for my family and not order from outside or eat food cooked by a maid. I feel alive when my child hugs and kisses me the moment she wakes up, she goes to school and upon return. Those good night stories and kisses before hitting the sack enlivens me to look forward to the next day.

There will come a time when my child will grow up and step out to live her life on her own. That is the time I don’t want to sit alone and regret that why didn’t I spend more time with my child? I want to sit by the window, sip a cup of my ginger masala tea and reminisce about these moments which are flying at the speed of a rocket.

I have not stopped living. I have started living a bit more as a SAHM. So next time someone pops up this question to anyone who is a SAHM and reading this article, I hope you have answers to give them. Much love to you proud women.

Happy living and Happy Motherhood

Midnight Musings

A deep slumber is disturbed by a quivering Maaaaaaa sound and you know she is dreaming. You gently touch, she quickly grabs you and takes shelter in you. You try to ask what is bothering her, she replies, 'I had a nightmare.' 

She hurriedly hugs you. You too bring her close to your bosom, trying to make her feel safe. You kiss her forehead, ruffle her hair trying to make her feel secure. You tell her that you are right there and she hugs you tightly. 

She dozes off to sleep again. 

Your sleep just jumped out of your eyes and escaped into unknown lands. You are left with the sound of the whirring fan and the intermittent zzzzz of the snoring husband. Somehow you manage to get the phone with the hand that's free (the other has turned itself into a pillow for the little one) and start typing. 

You remember your childhood when similar incidents occurred with you too and reaching out to Ma was the only solace. You smile and kiss your child once again. You feel grateful for being blessed with Ma and motherhood. 

Lekin bhaiya ab toh...

Saari raat hum 

Jaag jaag ke jee liye

Ek pal toh Hume

Neend aane do Ane do! 

Give me some sleep

Give me some relief 

Give me another chance

I wanna get some sleep 😴 

#motherhood #motherdaughtermoments #childhood #hindisongs #bollywood #humor #parenting #family

Solo trip to Goa - Shopping in Arambol

As a solo traveler I carried a bottle of water, sunglasses and a bag to step out of the hotel every morning. I would then walk for hours to experience the myriad colours of Goa. 

As a traveler you can walk down the local market to not only shop, you can get to talk to various kinds of people, interact with them to know more about the local culture,food, artifact and many more wonders associated with the place. 

If you want to shop, be ready to haggle a bit with the shopkeepers. 

There are shops selling bedsheets with queer themes. You can find a Bob Marley beside a Buddha ☺️ 

If you like smoking from a pot then streets of Goa markets are for you. From glass to hand carved chillams... You get it all.

Arambol is famous for its music and wellness retreats. Drum groups are in plenty and you can often witness people jamming on the beach or a cafe with drums. Hence the shops selling hand made drums for music lovers. 

Hand made bags, hemp bags are perfect souvenirs which one can buy when in Goa. 

If you are chilling by the sea and want some fresh juice, approach a similar cart posted in the blog.

As a food loving person I always buy local masalas to bring them back home and cook.

 This time I met Vicky at the masala shop, an enterprising boy. I bought green chicken curry masala and garlic chutney. 

Vicky ensured that his masalas are so tasty that I am going back to Arambol again to buy masalas from him. I just hope he's right 😀 

This is the first time I bought incense sticks in Goa. I couldn't resist after smelling the various aromatic sticks in a shop. The fragrances were weird yet aromatic. From mixed fruit to garam masala they had many such incense sticks. 

While walking through the market I spotted a toy shop. What gained my attention was the material with which the toys and souvenirs were made of. I ended up buying a few toys for my child made of cashew wood. It's worth buying and gifting to your loved ones. Also you contribute to the income of the local artisans who toil in day and night to create such wonders. So you do a good deed too during your stay in Goa ☺️

I am a mother of a seven year old and this is the second time I went on a solo trip. My message to all the women and mothers who want to travel solo ... Don't wait, just go! It's worth it. This was my eighth visit to Goa and first solo. The picturesque town by the sea is worth your time. Go solo to create moments, introspect and look forward to your life with a lot of enthusiasm and zeal. Take a break and live a few days to yourself. It's worth every bit. 

I ❤️ Goa 

#solo #solotravel #solotrip #arambol #goa #india #food #momlife #travel #moments #momblogger #shopping #incredibleindia #momlife #travelblog #motherhood #parenting