Are You a Stay at Home Mom 😱

How many times have you faced this question with a horrified expression from the person asking you this? Well! I have faced this question innumerable times. Sometimes people who ask have the expression of astonishment, while others give you a condescending look. Then there are people who come with a sympathetic approach. I have witnessed close friends telling me, ‘How can you stay at home? Oh! I feel sorry for your condition.You must be frustrated staying at home.’

These comments sometimes make me wonder, why are people either condescending or sympathetic towards a SAHM? Is it something wrong we are doing? Is being a SAHM a crime, a sin?

To be a SAHM is a decision a woman takes out of her own choice. She is a mother, she has given birth to a child… a nascent life is dependent on her 24/7. It’s the mother in a woman that makes her take the decision of staying at home and nurturing her child, herself.

In today’s capitalist society where money plays the most important part in our lives, a woman chooses not to join the rat race and opts to be the mother instead. Isn’t it in itself an achievement? She chose to be a mother who is there for her child whenever the cherub needs her.

Staying at home and taking care of your children is being looked down on nowadays.

‘You are educated, why don’t you step out to work? Keep a nanny or send the child to the daycare. It’s that easy these days. You don’t have to stop living to be a mother ‘ — said a friend. Yes, I can do that easily. Most of the women who are choosing to embrace motherhood are opting for this easy option. They are living their life. But who said I am not?

I felt alive every time my child looked adorably at me even without knowing who I am. I felt alive the times when my child tried touching my face with her tiny fingers. Times when she smiled gleefully for no reason- I felt alive.

To take her in my arms and nestle her, to feel her pee or poop on me as an infant made me feel I am living. That little being had no idea about what was going on or what she was doing. It is that innocence that enlivened my soul during my initial days of motherhood. It was during this time I felt like living… I felt like I should take good care of myself because that little being is totally dependent on me.

Moments like these made me decide to be a SAHM because I wanted to live each and every moment of my motherhood. It was no sacrifice or compromise I was making. I was financially sound to hire a nanny or enroll in a daycare. I chose the SAHM option instead.

It’s been eight years since and there has not been a moment when I felt frustrated or regretted my decision. Today the kid is independent, she is busy with studies and extra curricular activities yet I am a SAHM. I feel alive when I cook food for my family and not order from outside or eat food cooked by a maid. I feel alive when my child hugs and kisses me the moment she wakes up, she goes to school and upon return. Those good night stories and kisses before hitting the sack enlivens me to look forward to the next day.

There will come a time when my child will grow up and step out to live her life on her own. That is the time I don’t want to sit alone and regret that why didn’t I spend more time with my child? I want to sit by the window, sip a cup of my ginger masala tea and reminisce about these moments which are flying at the speed of a rocket.

I have not stopped living. I have started living a bit more as a SAHM. So next time someone pops up this question to anyone who is a SAHM and reading this article, I hope you have answers to give them. Much love to you proud women.

Happy living and Happy Motherhood