Home... not alone

How lovely it feels to see our Kolkata house from this angle! It's an overwhelming feeling to see the house we grew up in, The house that was built by Babu and Ma. The house that was their dream come true. The house I left after marriage and Nellie entered after hers. Anecdotes that i share with Biryani took place here in that room... That terrace, that balcony. 

Babu's flower garden on the terrace, the swing standing tall in the midst of the tiny pots and plants. That's where I sat to gaze at the sky and watch clouds, sometimes a butterfly that sat on a flower would be a pleasing distraction. Memories of bhai and I getting wet in the rain on the roof while Ma slept in the afternoon. Bursting crackers during Diwali with my favourite Dada and playing Holi with Bhai and Ashim Mama. 

The days of the Gopal Dada festival in the house when their would be Bhajan, kirtan and we kids running up and down whole day. Choto Mama, Sona Mashi, Boro mashi,mesho and paltan would be here and so many people throughout the week. Cousins sleeping together in the balcony during those cold December nights... Sky gazing inside the moshari(mosquito net) when power cuts were normal. Aah! I am inundated with memories and I can keep writing pages on this building which we call Our Home. 

The topmost balcony on the left is now adorned by Nellie and her plants. Glad to see how she has beautifully transformed the flat into a cozy, warm nest for bhai and her ❤️  The home where my parents reside. The home where lives our Gopal Dada. The home where Biryani went after her birth. The home filled with memories both happy and sad. The home that I love. 

 Home... I may be far from you but never far enough to not feel you. 

KK the voice of love

It's exactly two days that he passed away. So many updates, news, videos making the rounds on social media and other platforms. Condolence posts, comments that inundated Facebook and Instagram timelines. 

Frenzied photographers, journalists, fans trying to cover his last journey with mobiles and cameras flashing. What madness! 

Sab tired ho gaye honge ab taak. All the hard work paid off. After two days they must have hit the sack tired yet satisfied after covering all that news. Gharwale shabashi denge ke beta/beti badiya photo liya tune! Good work.

Somewhere in the city there are three souls or more (I am not aware if his parents and in laws are still alive)  who are tired too.. Tired traveling to a city where he breathed his last, tired of handling formalities and arranging for the cremation and funeral. They are tired of  the sudden media attention and unnecessary hype. Yes, They are tired... and tonight is the toughest night for these tired souls. Last two days were spent in organising and meetings. They would have hardly got any time to mourn. 

Tonight when the world is sleeping after all the madness, there's a family that's sleepless. A healthy man who left home with a smile and promise to return is dead. It's only the cremation ashes that remain in that copper urn which will be immersed soon. 

His wife, who was with him since they were twelve years old must be crying her heart out inside the bedroom, or she could just browse through her phone albums with moist eyes. She could also scream in agony as she visualises him in every nook and corner of the house. Her bed is empty tonight and it will be forever. Is she feeling betrayed by him? Could be. She could be wrathfully cursing him for leaving her alone forever or she could just be lying on the bed with silent tears rolling down.  Or she could be with her kids at last...all together after the incident. It's that time in their lives when they have none but each other to handle. No amount of consolation, sympathy can help at this moment. It cannot! 

This loss is irreparable and unforeseen. A family which is incomplete tonight, a family which will never be the same again. A wound that's going to be there forever. The bereavement is beyond words to describe. Death is inevitable but death like this is unbearable. 

The media will forget him in a week, admirers will move on too, the politics and slander will die out in a few days... What won't die is the angst and agony of the family members. Yet somewhere they will have a smile when they would think of him later. The respect he earned over the years as a human being and as a singer. His untimely death showed what a great soul he was. That's what will make his family proud and help them recuperate. I hope. 

The song 'Maine dil se yeh kahan' from the film Rog has been in my mind over the last two days. It features Irrfan Khan, was sung by KK.

Both fireflies ... Illuminating their surroundings with their celestial light and spark before the darkness of death shrouded them forever.  All they spread was light and happiness. Ethereal beings now in the realms of ether. Both gone to the big auditorium in the sky. 

Men may come and Men may go but few remain forever. 

Why is Mother's Day so special?

The conversation between my six year old and me led to this post. In her sweet, simple way little Biryani expressed the real fact of what makes this day so special for us mothers.

Ma: Achha Biryani tell me what is so special about Mother's Day?

Biryani: Because it gave her (the mother) the child. 

Ma: So what?

Biryani: Because that's what made her ( the mother) the happiest person on Earth naa! 

Indeed, holding you in my shaky arms for the first time, touching you to see if you are for real were moments beyond words or adjectives could describe. Since then life has been tough... There have been times when I lost my cool, I screamt,i cried because motherhood doesn't come with prior experience and certification; it's to be felt and gradually experienced. I have had my moments of complete break down but it was you who brought back the power and strength in me.

 I know how much I wanted to be a mother in spite of those miscarriages that tormented both my body and soul. You didn't come into my life easily but you made every moment worth since your birth. 

I know I am not perfect mother and I don't strive to be one.I am a mother who is more humane and normal. I don't want to show you that life is perfect or your Ma is perfect. Through my imperfections I want you to learn the real facts of life, of dealing with your demons and crisis. You have given me the most happiest moments of my life Biryani... Thank you for choosing me as your mother ❤️ 

#happymothersday #mother #motherdaughter 

Happy father's day or is it something more than that this year?

This year Father's Day is not what it used to be. There are fathers who are no more to celebrate this day with their kids. There are also fathers who are childless today and all they can do is grieve. The virus has changed the world forever.

I can count more than twenty such families whom I know personally where there have been deaths... where fathers lost their children and vice versa.
It's not easy... it's not easy to live with such a loss. There's nothing which can calm these souls today when they would be witnessing the world celebrate Father's Day. They would feel a bit more cornered and lonely today. It would not be difficult to find a father hiding in some corner and crying silently... because he cannot share his grief with anyone.

There are children who are missing their creator on this day reminiscing days when they were together. Happiness, joy, laughter seems to have left them filling their lives with a void... a void unexplained. A void so deep that no treasure in this world can fill that.

I personally know bereaved fathers who are not able to get into terms today. It's every day that they miss their little one but this day makes them a bit more vulnerable. It's hard and it's inconsolable. No words of wisdom can stop these fathers from missing their child a bit more today.


There are infants who lost their fathers forever and they will never get to know him. For the children their father will be someone on that frame in the wall of their house.
The kids of such men are always in fear... the fear of their father coming in contact with the virus and it's after effects. The fear of losing their Hero to the virus. It's a trauma they are facing on a daily basis.

This Father's Day is not like the other years... it's different in many aspects. Let us be beside such parents or such kids today. Let them know you care. A simple message or call can help them communicate... something that's essential yet we try to avoid. (Thanks to the world and it's ways )

Let this Father's Day be memorable in a way where you could make some father feel better or a fatherless child relive some moments of bygone days.


What about fathers who are frontline workers? They leave behind their family every day to step out in these testing times. Look around and you can see those doctors, nurses, soldiers, policemen, the cleaners, the essential goods carrier,the chemist,the phlebotomist who conducts the RTPCR test knowing the threat it has. All these people are nothing but angels for the common man. We are because of them.

Let us draw inspiration from these fighters and be the Ubuntu. Together we are. Humanity is all about being there for each other and helping in the development of the society.  Let this Father's Day be special in a way where we teach our children to value relationships, to spread love and care and be compassionate. Help them  learn to be there for someone.

This Father's Day is not only about being Happy... it's also about being Ubuntu.

#fathersday #happy #family #ubuntu #humanity #bereavedfather #orphan #childless #fatherless #parenting #momblog #iamwriting #momblogger #happyfathersday #counsel #compassionate #blog #writer #writeup