Are You a Stay at Home Mom 😱

How many times have you faced this question with a horrified expression from the person asking you this? Well! I have faced this question innumerable times. Sometimes people who ask have the expression of astonishment, while others give you a condescending look. Then there are people who come with a sympathetic approach. I have witnessed close friends telling me, ‘How can you stay at home? Oh! I feel sorry for your condition.You must be frustrated staying at home.’

These comments sometimes make me wonder, why are people either condescending or sympathetic towards a SAHM? Is it something wrong we are doing? Is being a SAHM a crime, a sin?

To be a SAHM is a decision a woman takes out of her own choice. She is a mother, she has given birth to a child… a nascent life is dependent on her 24/7. It’s the mother in a woman that makes her take the decision of staying at home and nurturing her child, herself.

In today’s capitalist society where money plays the most important part in our lives, a woman chooses not to join the rat race and opts to be the mother instead. Isn’t it in itself an achievement? She chose to be a mother who is there for her child whenever the cherub needs her.

Staying at home and taking care of your children is being looked down on nowadays.

‘You are educated, why don’t you step out to work? Keep a nanny or send the child to the daycare. It’s that easy these days. You don’t have to stop living to be a mother ‘ — said a friend. Yes, I can do that easily. Most of the women who are choosing to embrace motherhood are opting for this easy option. They are living their life. But who said I am not?

I felt alive every time my child looked adorably at me even without knowing who I am. I felt alive the times when my child tried touching my face with her tiny fingers. Times when she smiled gleefully for no reason- I felt alive.

To take her in my arms and nestle her, to feel her pee or poop on me as an infant made me feel I am living. That little being had no idea about what was going on or what she was doing. It is that innocence that enlivened my soul during my initial days of motherhood. It was during this time I felt like living… I felt like I should take good care of myself because that little being is totally dependent on me.

Moments like these made me decide to be a SAHM because I wanted to live each and every moment of my motherhood. It was no sacrifice or compromise I was making. I was financially sound to hire a nanny or enroll in a daycare. I chose the SAHM option instead.

It’s been eight years since and there has not been a moment when I felt frustrated or regretted my decision. Today the kid is independent, she is busy with studies and extra curricular activities yet I am a SAHM. I feel alive when I cook food for my family and not order from outside or eat food cooked by a maid. I feel alive when my child hugs and kisses me the moment she wakes up, she goes to school and upon return. Those good night stories and kisses before hitting the sack enlivens me to look forward to the next day.

There will come a time when my child will grow up and step out to live her life on her own. That is the time I don’t want to sit alone and regret that why didn’t I spend more time with my child? I want to sit by the window, sip a cup of my ginger masala tea and reminisce about these moments which are flying at the speed of a rocket.

I have not stopped living. I have started living a bit more as a SAHM. So next time someone pops up this question to anyone who is a SAHM and reading this article, I hope you have answers to give them. Much love to you proud women.

Happy living and Happy Motherhood

Midnight Musings

A deep slumber is disturbed by a quivering Maaaaaaa sound and you know she is dreaming. You gently touch, she quickly grabs you and takes shelter in you. You try to ask what is bothering her, she replies, 'I had a nightmare.' 

She hurriedly hugs you. You too bring her close to your bosom, trying to make her feel safe. You kiss her forehead, ruffle her hair trying to make her feel secure. You tell her that you are right there and she hugs you tightly. 

She dozes off to sleep again. 

Your sleep just jumped out of your eyes and escaped into unknown lands. You are left with the sound of the whirring fan and the intermittent zzzzz of the snoring husband. Somehow you manage to get the phone with the hand that's free (the other has turned itself into a pillow for the little one) and start typing. 

You remember your childhood when similar incidents occurred with you too and reaching out to Ma was the only solace. You smile and kiss your child once again. You feel grateful for being blessed with Ma and motherhood. 

Lekin bhaiya ab toh...

Saari raat hum 

Jaag jaag ke jee liye

Ek pal toh Hume

Neend aane do Ane do! 

Give me some sleep

Give me some relief 

Give me another chance

I wanna get some sleep 😴 

#motherhood #motherdaughtermoments #childhood #hindisongs #bollywood #humor #parenting #family

Solo trip to Goa - Shopping in Arambol

As a solo traveler I carried a bottle of water, sunglasses and a bag to step out of the hotel every morning. I would then walk for hours to experience the myriad colours of Goa. 

As a traveler you can walk down the local market to not only shop, you can get to talk to various kinds of people, interact with them to know more about the local culture,food, artifact and many more wonders associated with the place. 

If you want to shop, be ready to haggle a bit with the shopkeepers. 

There are shops selling bedsheets with queer themes. You can find a Bob Marley beside a Buddha ☺️ 

If you like smoking from a pot then streets of Goa markets are for you. From glass to hand carved chillams... You get it all.

Arambol is famous for its music and wellness retreats. Drum groups are in plenty and you can often witness people jamming on the beach or a cafe with drums. Hence the shops selling hand made drums for music lovers. 

Hand made bags, hemp bags are perfect souvenirs which one can buy when in Goa. 

If you are chilling by the sea and want some fresh juice, approach a similar cart posted in the blog.

As a food loving person I always buy local masalas to bring them back home and cook.

 This time I met Vicky at the masala shop, an enterprising boy. I bought green chicken curry masala and garlic chutney. 

Vicky ensured that his masalas are so tasty that I am going back to Arambol again to buy masalas from him. I just hope he's right 😀 

This is the first time I bought incense sticks in Goa. I couldn't resist after smelling the various aromatic sticks in a shop. The fragrances were weird yet aromatic. From mixed fruit to garam masala they had many such incense sticks. 

While walking through the market I spotted a toy shop. What gained my attention was the material with which the toys and souvenirs were made of. I ended up buying a few toys for my child made of cashew wood. It's worth buying and gifting to your loved ones. Also you contribute to the income of the local artisans who toil in day and night to create such wonders. So you do a good deed too during your stay in Goa ☺️

I am a mother of a seven year old and this is the second time I went on a solo trip. My message to all the women and mothers who want to travel solo ... Don't wait, just go! It's worth it. This was my eighth visit to Goa and first solo. The picturesque town by the sea is worth your time. Go solo to create moments, introspect and look forward to your life with a lot of enthusiasm and zeal. Take a break and live a few days to yourself. It's worth every bit. 

I ❤️ Goa 

#solo #solotravel #solotrip #arambol #goa #india #food #momlife #travel #moments #momblogger #shopping #incredibleindia #momlife #travelblog #motherhood #parenting 

The world misses you Diego Maradona

My father never bought a black and white Television as he aspired to buy a colour Sony TV someday since his youth. It was during one of his business trips to Singapore that he couldn't resist himself from buying a 29 inch Sony  colour  television as It was the summer of 1986 and he was returning home a day before the  Football World Cup finale. 

The moment Babu boarded off the yellow taxi and opened the boot, we rejoiced  seeing that huge box in which was hidden the dream Television of my father. The entire locality gathered outside our house with 'Paara kakus' taking initiative to offload the container and getting electrician to fit the treasure at the earliest. The antenna was bought and fixed in no time.

The following day was all about nail biting and anticipation till the match begun. There he was in front of us with his team Argentina. The vehement roar followed by cheering of  Joy Maradona is something I can still hear and feel after all these years.  The match ended with the victory of His team but it was he who won... Won the hearts of millions of people across the globe and that bunch of bengalis sitting in that room that night. Our neighbours thanked my father, hugged him, shook hands and hailed 'Joy Krishna Da' and i could see that gleam of happiness in my father's eyes. That night my Hero gifted me one of the most memorable gift.  Watching the other Hero taking the world by storm sitting on my father's lap was such an ecstatic feeling. I was the proudest six year old  that night.

I was too small to understand the popularity of Maradona then but that man, his moves, his energy,his passion on field was something I could relate to that night. This man made every Bengali child of our generation not only fall in love with him but also with football. He created dreams...dreams for millions of kids and youngsters throughout his lifetime.  An enigma till his last breath...Maradona is God of Football for us. His demise in 2020 just tore off another pleasant chapter from our childhood, leaving a void forever.

He created magic on field with his skill and childish stubborn persona. Withstanding hits, kicks and innumerable physical violence by opponents on ground this man never gave up on football. All he wanted was to play and win. What a charmer he was! 

The heartwarming images from his funeral portray the love and respect the man garnered in the hearts of people over the years. It's been two years since we lost you Diego and this is the first Fifa World Cup that we are watching without you. 

Rest in power and keep playing wherever you are.  Thank you for making our childhood magical with your presence. Love you always.

 #Diego #Maradona #eighties #eightieskid #childhoodmemories #football #parenting #childhood #fifa #soccer #qatar #worldcup 

Home... not alone

How lovely it feels to see our Kolkata house from this angle! It's an overwhelming feeling to see the house we grew up in, The house that was built by Babu and Ma. The house that was their dream come true. The house I left after marriage and Nellie entered after hers. Anecdotes that i share with Biryani took place here in that room... That terrace, that balcony. 

Babu's flower garden on the terrace, the swing standing tall in the midst of the tiny pots and plants. That's where I sat to gaze at the sky and watch clouds, sometimes a butterfly that sat on a flower would be a pleasing distraction. Memories of bhai and I getting wet in the rain on the roof while Ma slept in the afternoon. Bursting crackers during Diwali with my favourite Dada and playing Holi with Bhai and Ashim Mama. 

The days of the Gopal Dada festival in the house when their would be Bhajan, kirtan and we kids running up and down whole day. Choto Mama, Sona Mashi, Boro mashi,mesho and paltan would be here and so many people throughout the week. Cousins sleeping together in the balcony during those cold December nights... Sky gazing inside the moshari(mosquito net) when power cuts were normal. Aah! I am inundated with memories and I can keep writing pages on this building which we call Our Home. 

The topmost balcony on the left is now adorned by Nellie and her plants. Glad to see how she has beautifully transformed the flat into a cozy, warm nest for bhai and her ❤️  The home where my parents reside. The home where lives our Gopal Dada. The home where Biryani went after her birth. The home filled with memories both happy and sad. The home that I love. 

 Home... I may be far from you but never far enough to not feel you. 

Himachal Pradesh... Firgun land

It was the sunrise that I wanted to witness. No, I didn't need an alarm to wake me up that morning. The yearning to see the golden sun rays fall slowly on the hill tops to uncover the dark cloak of the night kept me awake. 

It was 5 AM when I woke up. It was pitch dark outside, the sound of the nocturnal chorus being my only company. As ilI waited for the sun to wake up and unfold I noticed Biryani's drawing Book and some crayons lying on the table. An idea struck! I felt an urge to capture the beauty not in my mobile this time but in paper. As the Sun took lazy and gratifying turns to unfurl, I decided to surprise it with my callow art. Over the next two hours I drew, i coloured and took a part of the hills with me... The art was not to prove anything. 

The drawing set of a six year old daughter rekindled the kiddo in the forty two year old mother who still gets exhilarated like a kid at the sight of hills, sun, snow !

Sitting in the room of Manzanna Woodlet Cottage at Shoja with those twelve colours and a white sheet of paper in front of me, I started to draw. Draw without any purpose or motive. It was the magic of that moment... The serenity of the place, that time of the day between dark and light which made me feel the passion to capture what lau in front of my eyes. 

I drew not to get praised or applauded... I drew because I wanted to... I felt the urge to seize that moment forever. What better than giving the view it's due by etching it in paper with a bunch of crayons. 

The sky changed it's hue every few minutes, the dark green trees changing colours like a chameleon and playing hide and seek with the sun rays. It was magic... the magic of science beholded as poetry, as painting in the eyes of a wondering soul. 

I am so glad I did it! The sense of satisfaction after was splendid. I could feel a sense of belonging with nature. It was all so cathartic. Sometimes we should just go with the flow without thinking about results and outcomes. It's only for ourselves... Our soul that we should do things at times. It's liberating. 

The husband woke up and captured his wife's moments on camera because he had witnessed this me after ages. He too didn't want to let go off the moment. I was unaware though only to find out later about it. A great feeling indeed! 

A day that started well... The morning that told me not to give up on that kid inside... Ever! 

KK the voice of love

It's exactly two days that he passed away. So many updates, news, videos making the rounds on social media and other platforms. Condolence posts, comments that inundated Facebook and Instagram timelines. 

Frenzied photographers, journalists, fans trying to cover his last journey with mobiles and cameras flashing. What madness! 

Sab tired ho gaye honge ab taak. All the hard work paid off. After two days they must have hit the sack tired yet satisfied after covering all that news. Gharwale shabashi denge ke beta/beti badiya photo liya tune! Good work.

Somewhere in the city there are three souls or more (I am not aware if his parents and in laws are still alive)  who are tired too.. Tired traveling to a city where he breathed his last, tired of handling formalities and arranging for the cremation and funeral. They are tired of  the sudden media attention and unnecessary hype. Yes, They are tired... and tonight is the toughest night for these tired souls. Last two days were spent in organising and meetings. They would have hardly got any time to mourn. 

Tonight when the world is sleeping after all the madness, there's a family that's sleepless. A healthy man who left home with a smile and promise to return is dead. It's only the cremation ashes that remain in that copper urn which will be immersed soon. 

His wife, who was with him since they were twelve years old must be crying her heart out inside the bedroom, or she could just browse through her phone albums with moist eyes. She could also scream in agony as she visualises him in every nook and corner of the house. Her bed is empty tonight and it will be forever. Is she feeling betrayed by him? Could be. She could be wrathfully cursing him for leaving her alone forever or she could just be lying on the bed with silent tears rolling down.  Or she could be with her kids at last...all together after the incident. It's that time in their lives when they have none but each other to handle. No amount of consolation, sympathy can help at this moment. It cannot! 

This loss is irreparable and unforeseen. A family which is incomplete tonight, a family which will never be the same again. A wound that's going to be there forever. The bereavement is beyond words to describe. Death is inevitable but death like this is unbearable. 

The media will forget him in a week, admirers will move on too, the politics and slander will die out in a few days... What won't die is the angst and agony of the family members. Yet somewhere they will have a smile when they would think of him later. The respect he earned over the years as a human being and as a singer. His untimely death showed what a great soul he was. That's what will make his family proud and help them recuperate. I hope. 

The song 'Maine dil se yeh kahan' from the film Rog has been in my mind over the last two days. It features Irrfan Khan, was sung by KK.

Both fireflies ... Illuminating their surroundings with their celestial light and spark before the darkness of death shrouded them forever.  All they spread was light and happiness. Ethereal beings now in the realms of ether. Both gone to the big auditorium in the sky. 

Men may come and Men may go but few remain forever.